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I often find myself laughing with this person, sharing clever observations, and bonding for whatever time it takes to get to the bottom of the coffee cup. Maybe we shouldn’t always be looking for those things.
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It is putting your whole entire specimen on the table—no Instagram filters, no friends censoring your profile, no thirty second (or 24-hour) delay on reactions, just clinical inspection and personal biases sizing you up—and then waiting to see if the other person accepts you and wants to see you again. I have never gone on a date I regretted (except for the time I paid $43 for her meal, but that’s a separate rant). I enjoy hearing their stories, learning where they’ve been in life, where they want to go, and what excites, motivates, and piques them. Not enjoy myself in a love/butterflies/between-the-bedsheets way, but coffee in a “let’s catch up”/shoot the breeze/no pretense way. Sometimes romance, love, and lust get in the way of dating.